Happy Boy!

For this month's entry, I wanted to share a few pictures of our big baby boy. Not that it's new to have pictures, but do note how he sits up, is huge (21 lbs), and is becoming more of a little boy all the time. By the way, he no longer fits into his 9-month old clothing. (He is only 7 months old and wearing 12-month clothes---remember how he was premature at birth- 5 lbs 10 oz. LOL!) We had a wonderful time this Christmas. First, we celebrated with my family in Sacramento, then spent some time at my cousin's house (Will and Riva), saw my Uncle Mick and Aunt Rolane, surprised Bill's Mom (Tab) on Christmas and spent a wonderful few days with her and Kent, then spent a few more days at my other cousin's house (Bryan and Cara) before coming home. Ryan travelled well and slept most of the way there and back in his comfy new car seat. We had to get the larger one for our growing boy. Luckily this one is able to change to a booster seat too, so no more car seat changes in the future. Bill had this week off too, so I worked all five days and am pretty tired. Hooray for a relaxing weekend. I am feeling better all the time, and will get another scan 1/27, so pray for good results. Bill is such a great dad and we still have time for just the two of us. God is blessing us more and more each day. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:6-7

Are you feeling neglected?

Ok, so ummm, well I. . ., what I mean to say is, you seeee. . ., FINE! I have no excuse. I have been busy, and I keep meaning to blog, but there are all these distractions. You must know how bad I am at keeping up on the computer. I check my email once in a while too, but really... I am an ignorer (is that a word?) of the computer. Bill is the one who keeps me updated on all of your blogs-- and only sometimes. He is much better at all of this. I guess that when I get a spare moment I either sleep, play with Ryan some more, or clean. Yes, there are more options than that, but I don't want to bore you with all of my day-to-day chores. Anyways, what's new? Well, I am officially done with treatment and feeling better every day. I am still not 100% on energy, but I do also have a baby that wears me out. But, a couple of weeks ago I went up a flight of stairs without being winded! I know! What an accomplishment! Really, it was. God has brought me a long way! A big concern to everyone is my hair. Yes, it's growing back, but is too short for my tastes! I like my super cute wig much better. Maybe I'm just attached after wearing it for 8 months straight! For now I'm in the watch and wait part of the journey. So far clear of cancer, but it feels too soon to claim remission yet. I'll get a MRI soon and see how things are. Back to fun things- Ryan goes through spurts of sleeping well through the night and then realizing that he can get up every four hours and get more mommy time. I think he just misses me on those nights. Oh well, he's still a good natured, happy, lovey "little" guy. At his 6 month check-up he weighed 18 pounds and 7 oz. That would be in the 75th percentile for his age. Hee hee- who knew he came out so scrawny. He gives kisses and rolls over and loves every food we've given him. (shocker!) I love this age. Can I freeze him right here? Adorable but still immobile? I guess I'll have to start baby-proofing my house soon. I am working 3 days a week and doing ok with it. Bill and other friends have been helping with the day care. Bill is still wonderful, by the way- as if we had doubts! I have been abundantly blessed with such an amazing husband. He enjoys Ryan time as much as I do- so it's fun to share in the parental duties. Well, I'll try to write more later.........hopefully not too much later. :)

Squishy love

I can't believe that I'm almost done with treatment! Only 8 more days of radiation and I'm finished! Ah, relief. So far I have some sunburn effect on my left side where they are radiating and it's sore, but not too bad. I hope it continues this way till I'm done- these side effects aren't very difficult at all. My hair is really starting to grow back and take away from the "scalp" look. I still wear my wig- I like it- it's easy, cute, fast to get ready, removable when I have hot flashes, and the hair I have growing is so incredibly short that I don't like the way it looks right now. Not really my style. Anyways, I've spent 7 months in the wig already and people are just starting to not make the comments I'm now used to hearing like- "Wow, you really cut your hair" or "Your hair is soooo different" or "You look like a different person with straight hair". I've heard it all by now- multiple times- and if I go to super-short, natural, growing-in hair then I'm just welcoming the cycle all over again. I don't mind it, but of all things, the hair seems to get the most conversation. Crazy, huh? Did my hair define me that much? Oh well, Ryan doesn't seem to care if I have hair or not- I think babies focus on faces, not hair. Hat, wig, bald, short hair, glasses or not, makeup or not, he seems to know it's me and like it when I'm there. It's lovely to know that he loves me no matter what I look like. And so does my ever-supportive, loving, and studly husband, Bill. He still tells me I'm beautiful multiple times a day- and means it. I am the most blessed girl in the world- sigh!! Well, enjoy Ryan's latest pictures. I know that's what everyone is looking for on this blog- and I can't blame you. He's adorable, still good natured, mellow, and happy- and HUGE. Our boy is 17 pounds of squishy love and drool. Told you I was blessed.

It hasn't been THAT long!

I know, I know, I am a slacker, lazy, - etc. Can I blame the month-late entry on my forgetfulness? New baby? Chemo? Well, whatever the reason, I am now giving you all an update on our lives. Bill is awesome and working all the time to support us. I am now working Mon, Wed, and every other Thurs to help a little. And I enjoy my job, the people I work with, and getting out of the house once in a while. I started radiation yesterday and have 6 weeks to go. It's like getting an xray. I'm not radioactive afterwards and do not glow, much to Bill's disappointment. I will probably be tired and get sunburn effects later on, but for now, the only irritation is the time commitment of going every single day during the week. Oh well, this is the last step of the process and I'm done!

Ryan is laughing all the time now and talks his cute baby-cooing language. We love it and do whatever we can to make him do more. He also, as you can see, is gaining weight regularly and has had no problems outgrowing his clothes. At 4 months old, he is now wearing his 6 month clothing. I find out exactly what his weight is on Thurs when he gets another round of immunizations (yuck). Two weeks ago he was 14 pounds. I can only imagine what the current number has reached. But how cute are his rolls and chub?? I can't stop kissing him and he is so huggable. I hope you enjoyed the slide show. Bill put it on the blog for me after I spent some time. . . putting it together. Here are another couple cute shots for ooo-ing and ahhh-ing.

State Fair and other cute photos!

Smiles!

More cute shoes

I don't know when life will slow down. My guess is never again, but I'm enjoying the ride. My last chemotherapy was on Thursday, which means that I feel crummy this week. But oh well, the feeling of ick only lasts a week, and all I have left is radiation. Yeah! Ryan is keeping us very busy, nothing new really, just being adorable and eating constantly. Sometimes I just think that God blessed me with not being able to breastfeed -because I don't know if I would have been able to keep up with my "little" pigglet. Seriously, he's up to around 13 pounds now- at 3 months old. Just look at the cheeks and arm rolls! He decided to grunt out a hernia on the other side. Yes, he just had surgery 2 months ago for pyloric stenosis and a hernia- but this is the other side. Anyways, more surgery :( but it should just be a one night stay. I don't know the day yet, but I'm hoping for next week. He doesn't seem to mind his little bulge, so at least we aren't dealing with crying baby in pain. In fact, Ryan smiles all the time now and coos to us. And to the ceiling fan, and to his toys--- whatever, it's super cute to hear his little voice. And an occasional giggle makes life wonderful. Oh, and he slept for 7 hours last night!! Don't worry, we still had to get up in the middle of the night- it was from 7pm -2am, but hey, it's progress.

Look at our chunky boy!!

Ryan had on this adorable outfit- bringing out his beautiful blue eyes. Can you stand the chunky cheeks?!?

And the shoes!!!

I can't believe that Ryan is 11 pounds now! He is so fun, and starting to smile and coo a little bit. We (the parents) are doing well too. :)

Hi- from all of us

Hi there! I just wanted to share a couple of adorable pictures. Ryan says hi too. And Bill too.

Look at our cutie!

So sorry to make everyone wait a lifetime for more pictures of Ryan. He is growing like crazy, making up for lost time when sick. He is now 20 inches and about 9 lbs- can you believe it!? We are still up with him every 2 hours for feeding (hungry boy) and not getting a lot of rest, but that's what it's all about now. I'm so glad he's healed and doing so well. I am tired and achy with this last round of chemo- even more than before. I think it's finally hitting me- maybe the combo of everything. But I have lots of help from family and friends to watch Ryan while I nap a little. He is wonderful and a blessing- even when he screams in the middle of the night from gas bubbles. Bill's mom, Tab and her husband Kent were up last weekend for their first visit and we had so much fun. Ryan has so many awesome family members! He is definitely well loved. We are grieving the loss of my Papa. He passed away on Saturday and will be missed terribly. He was a wonderful man of God and an amazing example of love and life.

More hospital happenings

Well, guess what! We are home from the hospital. It came as a shock to us also, that we'd have to go back so soon, but sure enough. . . It seems like we can't get enough drama in our lives, but really and truly, I'd love some boring, ho-hum, "nothing new" kind of times. Ryan, yes our sweet little guy- who is now in the 7 pound range after 4 weeks of life- decided that his body wasn't going to work correctly and ended up with a problem called pyloric stenosis. Basically, the area that connects his stomach and intestines was closed off, which meant A LOT of vomiting on our end. He had to have surgery to fix it, and while they were in there, he had a hernia fixed. Apparently Ryan's tiny little body couldn't handle the 4 days of vomiting leading up to the surgery and tried to pop out part of his intestine. Hey, at least he only had to undergo anesthesia and healing once. (so far). It feels like we should knock on wood several times a day, but we know that life sometimes contains unpleasant surprises, and are dealing. Anyways, he did great, and is healing well, and we love the not vomiting part of post-surgery life. He came home after a day and a half and we got a little sleep inbetween, so on with the crazy life of a new parent again.
Oh, and by the way, for those of you who were waiting for news on me: all of my scans were clear!!! Sorry to keep you all waiting so long. As you can see, we've been kind of busy lately, not a lot of time for computers. But yes, I am very relieved to know that my cancer is at bay. I'll finish my chemo and radiation (you never know what microscopic cancer cells are floating around) and then hopefully be in remission. I really don't know why I wouldn't be. Like I said, the scans show nothing at all, and really, I knew they wouldn't. Remember how awesome our God is? Well, I do. And all of your prayers have been heard and answered. I feel so blessed in so many ways and am humbled by the grace God gives me every day. I just hope that I'm learning the lesson that God's trying to teach me, if that's what these trials are for. Or maybe it's something completely not about me at all. Ah, too much to ponder with so little sleep. Anyways, I think I'll just rely on God some more and trust that His plans are greater than I could ever know. AKA= peace that passes understanding. :)

New happenings with Julie

So, now that I'm totally involved with our new son, I feel that I've left you all uninformed about my cancer situation. Sorry! I successfully (and quite easily) finished my first round of chemotherapy just in time! Whew!! Did you all realize that I got dose #4 of 4 on Friday the 23rd. By the way, my water broke on Saturday the 24th at 6:30am. I was praying that I could complete the 4 doses without interruption, and boy does God have a sense of humor. OK, Julie. You can finish all four treatments, but then get ready for baby-RIGHT after. Well, I'm not complaining, and in fact am so thankful for the timing. Now I can start my next cycle of chemo right away! I was going to have to wait a month until I had Ryan, then another 3 weeks to heal from the birth/surgery. This impecable timing has given me the opportunity to only wait the 3 weeks to heal from the c-section, and then move on with more chemo. It's like I'm jump starting the whole thing by a month! Which is a good thing- with the main goal here to kill the cancer as quickly and efficiently as possible.
Starting tomorrow I get to have a million scans- ok not really a million, but it feels like a lot. I had to wait on them until I had Ryan, considering that they don't like for the baby to have radiation or contrast or anything that the scans require. But now that it's just me in there, I get to have all the scans that most people get when they are first diagnosed with cancer. I get an ultrasound, mammogram, and MRI tomorrow and then a PET scan the next day. THEN, I get to start my next round of chemo on Friday. Yes, THIS Friday! It's a different type of chemo, and an aggressive approach to the cancer treatment, but my cancer is aggressive, so I say fight fire with better fire! Just like the first round, I'll get 4 treatments, each one three weeks apart. Then I'll get a 3 week break and on to 6 weeks of radiation. I thought I'd be in treatment until Thanksgiving, but now with the baby already here, I'll be done sometime in October! Yeah! I thought it was very considerate of God and of Ryan to work together with me on the whole treatment schedule. You must all know how much I like my plans and schedules!
In all honesty, I do feel very spoiled and blessed. I have a beautiful, healthy baby, and am getting the treatment I need even sooner. It's amazing to me, how God reminds me every day of His love and provision. Even in things that don't necessarily seem to be His acts of lovingkindness from an outsider's perspective. I know without a doubt that my God is loving and kind and generous and good. And I thank Him for those daily reminders and renewed peace.

You want more pictures?

I don't know about all of you, but I can't get enough of Ryan- So here are some more fun pictures!

New pictures of Ryan

Here are some updated pictures of our cutie pie. He's doing so good!

Happy Memorial Day

This has been some weekend.

I would like to congraulate our good friends Travis and Kristina for having their baby boy Andrew Powell Rhodes (spelling?) on Sunday May 25th at 4:00am. I am happy to hear that everthing is going well. I am sure we will have many birthday weekends together and our little boys will grow up to be "monsters" together.

Now, I would like to share a poem with everyone. A poem dedicated to all of those brave hero's, and to our loved one's as well! It is titled:

I'M FREE
Don't grieve for me for now I'm free,
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took His hand when I heard Him call,
I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day,
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way,
I found that peace at the close of the day.

If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss,
Ah yes, these things I too will miss.

But be not burdened with times of sorrow,
For I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full. I've savored much,
Good friends, good times and loved ones' touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your ears and share with me.
God wanted me now. He set me free!

Author: Unknown

Thankyou GRANDPA, PAPA and Uncle Bill for your service to this country so we can grow up free. We love you!

Baby Ryan!

Jesus calls the children dear,“Come to me and never fear,For I love the little children of the world;I will take you by the hand,Lead you to the better land,For I love the little children of the world.”

Jesus loves the little children,All the children of the world.Red and yellow, black and white,All are precious in His sight,Jesus loves the little children of the world.

Jesus died for all the children,All the children of the world.Red and yellow, black and white,All are precious in His sight,Jesus died for all the children of the world.
Jesus is the Shepherd true,And He’ll always stand by you,For He loves the little children of the world;He’s a Savior great and strong,And He’ll shield you from the wrong,For He loves the little children of the world.

I am coming, Lord, to Thee,And Your soldier I will be,For You love the little children of the world;And Your cross I’ll always bear,And for You I’ll do and dare,For You love the little children of the world.

Thanks to all of our friends and family that have shown up and have shown your love. We love you all!

Ryan James Burke

Here are the pictures if you did not get the email. Yes he came today 5/24/2008. Julie will post the details when she gets a chance.

Coming soon!

So much to talk about, -oh- and time to do it!! I am now officially on maternity leave. This starts my second week of time to "rest" before baby comes. (Can you believe that I'm due in 5 weeks!) And I'm finding that I needed this rest more than I thought I did. I was planning on working at least two or three more weeks, but my OB wanted me to get more rest. Now that I'm "relaxing" at home, I feel totally wiped out. I think that I was just pushing myself at work and telling myself to suck it up and be strong. Now, I go to the grocery store and come home for a much needed 2 hour nap! I feel very out of my element and am not used to all this. I go to clean the bathroom, and end up taking 10 minute breaks inbetween the toilet, sinks, and mirrors. Since when does it take me 30-40 minutes to clean one bathroom?!?!? I keep my list of things to do as short as possible and in small steps so that I don't get too winded. It usually works, but sometimes I push myself and just finish a project (and then crash). I don't do that too often though- I promise- - really- - - seriously. Anyways, I don't care if you believe me or not, it's true. Seriously.

Anyways, I still have this little, wiggly, constantly moving, up in my ribs baby in a breach position. A what?! Yes, he is butt down and not making much of an effort to turn around. So for now the doctor plans on doing a c-section- I'm apparently not delivering him like this. :) (by the way- his feet are by his face--- in my right rib cage- yeah- not really comfortable, but I figure at this point no one is comfortable- whichever way the little bundle is sitting.) So, I'm going in for weekly checkups, and they watch his heartrate and do a mini ultrasound to check my amniotic fluid levels each time. I love my doctor, and although he is very laid back and calm, he also knows when to put a little extra concern and observation in use. I have one more dose of chemo before baby comes. (Yeah!) So my OB wants to make sure that baby is ok. Since I'm in the last month, he feels comfortable getting the baby out if there is any inkling of a sign of distress. So, I am in constant wonder of how the kid is doing, will he stay in or come out this week? Ah, the excitement! I've been getting the baby's room ready, and organizing and washing everything. In small steps of course, and with help. So I feel pretty good about bringing the newbie home- can you ever really be fully prepared? Bill is so excited he can barely stand it, but he's been asking me to have the baby early for about two months now. Silly daddy-to-be, I keep telling him to be patient and get sleep, but he can't help wanting to squish the baby NOW.

I had the most amazing baby showers. One at work and one for all my family and other friends. They were so fun and busy, and I was blessed beyond my wildest imagination. I was able to fully stock the baby room-thanks to everyone being beyond generous, and best of all I got to see people I love and celebrate the new addition! I was surprised- very easily by the way- with family visitors. Bill loves to surprise me and had one fantastic weekend of TWO surprises. His mom Tab and her husband Kent drove up from Arizona to see us and feel my wiggly baby bump. It was so fun to hang out with them!! Also My Aunt Rolane and cousins Cara and Riva came up too!! We were able to meet Lynnea for the first time and stayed up late talking all weekend.- well the girls did, not Bill. What great memories! I am so spoiled!

We also got our backyard put in. I still have to plant pretty things and trees and vegetables, but the yard is laid out and ready for planting. I may not get to it until fall, but for now, to look outside and see a real backyard is wonderful. I was getting sick of dirt and weeds. It's simple, and perfect for us! I am so thankful for God's blessings in my life. I feel like His peace and joy flood over me each day. Even something silly like a new lawn reminds me of His provision and beauty.