I can't believe that I now have chemotherapy in my body. I give it 5 days a week to other people, but never really thought about getting it. The experience actually was a pleasant one, as far as the atmosphere. God, of course, wrapped me in a hug and gave me peace, but I had great friends around too. We worked a half day for Good Friday and I started my treatment after work with just a few patients finishing up. My patients, by the way, are amazing, encouraging, and wonderful in every way. I got a lot of hugs. My coworkers gathered around right before my infusion and blessed me with anointing oil (never had that done before) and prayed for me. It was a very generous and touching gesture of friendship and love. One of the doctors I work for came in for part of the infusion, because he thought I "might want someone to hold my hand", which he did personally. Well, so far so good, and I'm praying it'll continue like this. I had a hard time getting out of bed this morning, and had to take a long nap yesterday. But besides the fatigue (reminds me of my beginning pregnancy fatigue), I'm doing well. Thank you for your prayers and love, I know that's what is keeping me so upbeat. God is blessing me every moment.
Just to cover "the plan", for anyone who might be wondering. I will get four treatments of this chemo. I get two drugs, Adriamycin and Cytoxan, along with anti nausea medication. I'll get these drugs every three weeks. If I stay on time, which I should, then I'll have approximately 5 weeks after my last treatment before baby's due date of 6/21. He might come early though. This is the chemo that has been tested safe for baby, but they have seen preterm labor and/or smaller birth weight (what was the downside to that again?!?) So he may not wait the whole 5 weeks to be on time. Oh well, I should still have a little time to renew my immune system before he comes, even if he is a couple weeks early. Then after I recoup from giving birth, (no idea how long that will be) I'll start two different chemo drugs, Taxotere and either Carboplatin or Cisplatin. I'll get four treatments with those and then I'll get 6 weeks of radiation, most likely once a day/5 days a week. So, now you know, whether or not you wanted to :). I plan on a cure. So does my doctor. Now we just have to pray for one. I know that God Almighty is in control. . . .and I'm very content in that knowledge. I love you all.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
The new me
So, I've been getting used to my new figure. I love that baby bump, and am sooooo happy that people now recognize me as pregnant. If I hear "you don't look pregnant" one more time. . . Anyways, now I do -so HA! He (still haven't narrowed down a name) is remaining an active boy. "Kick counts" are something that expectant mothers do to monitor how often their in-utero baby moves. Yeah. . . lets just say, it would be easier to monitor when he's not moving and kicking in there. I love those reassuring bumps and squirms that let me know he's doing ok. Can you believe only three more months until we get to see his little, kissable face?!?!
What do you think? This will be the new (very Mommy-ish :)-don't you think? ) hairdo for my upcoming stint with chemo. I wanted a easy, fun, flirty, and different style. Might as well go out on a (short and straight) limb for my new hairstyle. Since I'll be bald for a while, a wig seemed to be the best answer. Kind of exciting to know my shower time will be cut in half, budget for shampoo minimal, and blow-drying my hair?- not for a while. Good-bye bad hair days, hair dye, and hair cuts!- I honestly think that I will miss my crazy curls, but they'll come back eventually, and then so will the length. For the meantime, I'll enjoy my new look and make the most out of it.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Update on life
Hi everyone, back in the computer room and no morning sickness! Most of you may already know a few of these updates from emails, but I wanted to give a quick update on the blog too. We are having a baby boy, due June 21. He is healthy and very active, and finally not making me sick anymore. I was wondering about the whole pregnancy thing for a while- do you ever stop feeling miserable? The answer is yes! However, just as I started feeling good again, I discovered a new twist.
A lump in my breast turned out to be cancer. Yes, you read me correctly. I'm 28 and have breast cancer. It has spread to my lymph system, but as far as we know, no where else. I had surgery on Feb.28 to remove the lump and lymph nodes. I am still recovering and tend to sleep all the time, thanks to my body being worn out and the pain meds I'm on. You would think half a pill of Norco(similar to Vicodin) wouldn't be that tiring, but for me it is. Baby is still doing great and he doesn't seem to mind my pain meds, still kicking me well into my naps and often waking me up from them.
Bill and I were able to go on a planned vacation to Las Vegas the few days before surgery. We had planned on Sunday to Sunday, but cut it short and came back Wed for surgery on Thursday. It was a wonderful trip involving a lot of eating, relaxing, shows, and walking of course. You cannot go to Vegas without a good pair of walking shoes- the casinos are huge. We debated about cancelling the whole thing, but thought that the get-away might do our mentality and relationship some good. God blessed our time -even in Vegas :)- and gave us a small break from reality.
HERE is where the new news is starting. My surgeon called me this week to let me know that they do not have to do more surgery for now. She got clear margins around the main tumor, and felt good about the lymph nodes she removed. I had 7 of 31 lymph nodes positive for cancer to some degree. They also were able to identify the specific type of cancer as something called carcinosarcoma. Guess what? It's really rare: less than 0.1% of breast cancers are this type. What is with our family and really rare? Anyways, the other name for it is metaplastic breast cancer. I don't know what all this means yet, she said my treatment should only change with more area being radiated as far as she knew. I have yet to talk to my oncologist about it. As soon as I get the drain out of my underarm on Tuesday, I'm hoping to recover enough to return to work the following week. I really hope I can, since being at home by yourself all the time is kind of boring,( or is it the major increase in sleep that's the boring part?) Then, as soon as I am healed enough from the surgery, I'll start chemo. I figure, the sooner the better, get it over with and kill the cancer, but the idea is still a little scary. The beginning plan was for me to have 4 cycles of chemo, and ta dah be perfect timing for me to have baby, and ta dah be perfect timing for me to start radiation. We'll see if all the perfect timing stuff actually works out. :)
In the meantime, life is as good as it can be. I'm in a minimal amount of pain from the surgery, and of course a little nervous about the future treatments, but God has kept me safe, sane, and at peace through it all so far. I'm relying on Him and am acutely aware of prayers being said for my sake. I feel extremely humbled by the outpouring of care, concern, and time my family and friends are showing. I praise God everyday for all of you and for His abundant blessings in my life.
A lump in my breast turned out to be cancer. Yes, you read me correctly. I'm 28 and have breast cancer. It has spread to my lymph system, but as far as we know, no where else. I had surgery on Feb.28 to remove the lump and lymph nodes. I am still recovering and tend to sleep all the time, thanks to my body being worn out and the pain meds I'm on. You would think half a pill of Norco(similar to Vicodin) wouldn't be that tiring, but for me it is. Baby is still doing great and he doesn't seem to mind my pain meds, still kicking me well into my naps and often waking me up from them.
Bill and I were able to go on a planned vacation to Las Vegas the few days before surgery. We had planned on Sunday to Sunday, but cut it short and came back Wed for surgery on Thursday. It was a wonderful trip involving a lot of eating, relaxing, shows, and walking of course. You cannot go to Vegas without a good pair of walking shoes- the casinos are huge. We debated about cancelling the whole thing, but thought that the get-away might do our mentality and relationship some good. God blessed our time -even in Vegas :)- and gave us a small break from reality.
HERE is where the new news is starting. My surgeon called me this week to let me know that they do not have to do more surgery for now. She got clear margins around the main tumor, and felt good about the lymph nodes she removed. I had 7 of 31 lymph nodes positive for cancer to some degree. They also were able to identify the specific type of cancer as something called carcinosarcoma. Guess what? It's really rare: less than 0.1% of breast cancers are this type. What is with our family and really rare? Anyways, the other name for it is metaplastic breast cancer. I don't know what all this means yet, she said my treatment should only change with more area being radiated as far as she knew. I have yet to talk to my oncologist about it. As soon as I get the drain out of my underarm on Tuesday, I'm hoping to recover enough to return to work the following week. I really hope I can, since being at home by yourself all the time is kind of boring,( or is it the major increase in sleep that's the boring part?) Then, as soon as I am healed enough from the surgery, I'll start chemo. I figure, the sooner the better, get it over with and kill the cancer, but the idea is still a little scary. The beginning plan was for me to have 4 cycles of chemo, and ta dah be perfect timing for me to have baby, and ta dah be perfect timing for me to start radiation. We'll see if all the perfect timing stuff actually works out. :)
In the meantime, life is as good as it can be. I'm in a minimal amount of pain from the surgery, and of course a little nervous about the future treatments, but God has kept me safe, sane, and at peace through it all so far. I'm relying on Him and am acutely aware of prayers being said for my sake. I feel extremely humbled by the outpouring of care, concern, and time my family and friends are showing. I praise God everyday for all of you and for His abundant blessings in my life.
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